HOW TO BECOME MORE CONFIDENT- 6 WAYS

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There are two types of people in this world. Those who walk into a room and say,”Here I am,” and those who get into a room and say, “There you are.” Your confidence determines whether you are influencing or being influenced. Your attitude towards yourself is the most important thing you need to cultivate.

At some point in your life, you will have to be your own audience to cheer yourself to keep going when the going gets tough. It’s good to have people who believe in you. Sometimes you need someone to believe in you in order for you to believe in yourself. But at the end of the day you need to learn to do it on your own.

In this post  you will learn 6 practical tips to help you feel confident in yourself in no time. You are also going to know how you can practice the tips to fit into your daily life with minimal effort. As a bonus, I will be gifting you with a 30 day self-  confidence checklist that you can use to become more confident in the next 30 days. Download it down below for FREE!

Here  few posts you may want to read,too:

• How to Create a Self Care Routine that Actually Sticks.
• 13 Night Time Self Care Ideas to do Before Bed.
• How to Live a Meaningful Life.
• How to Love Yourself No Matter What

Now, Let’s get all the juicy details.

What is self confidence?

Self-confidence is an individual trust in your own abilities,capacities and judgements or belief that you can successfully face day to day challenges and demands.  It brings more happiness when you are feeling better about your capabilities and motivates you to take action and achieve your goals.

Some studies show a strong relationship between self-confidence and positive mental health. The success of individuals with high self-confidence lies in these six attributes:

• Freedom from self-doubt.
• Greater enjoyment in life and in activities.
• A greater sense of self-worth
• Freedom from fear and anxiety and less stress.
• More energy and motivation act
• More enjoyable time interacting with other people at social gatherings.

As much as the tips below are going to help you feel more confident, if your mental health is not good, your efforts may be short lived. So make sure that the attributes  above resonate with your state of mental health before anything else.

What can you do to be more confident?

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1. Wear a smile to appear more confident.

Did you know that it takes twelve muscles to smile and 113 muscles to frown? There is a big pay-off for smiling at people. It tells the other person that he or she is attractive,likeable, pleasant,safe and secure in your estimation. A single smile is so powerful that it can often transform a person with low self-esteem from negativity to a positive outlook on life.

When you smile at another person, your brain releases endorphins which are called nature’s ‘happy drug.’ They make you feel happy and raise your self-confidence. Its important to understand how a great smile can change the way you see yourself.Several tests have shown that smiling can:

• Build healthy relationships. A smile can reduce conflict and make others open to communicate with you.
• Make others happy.Emotions are contagious and smiling is not an exception. When others see your smile, they smile back which makes them feel good about themselves. Remember that it takes confidence for you to smile at others if you want to get this kind of reaction.
• Improve your mood. Remember how I stated that smiling releases endorphins that make you feel good? That’s because a smile tells your brain that its time to feel good.
• Make you look younger. Studies show that people will judge a smiling face to be younger than he or she actually is.
• Appear friendly and approachable. More people would want to talk to you if you are smiling and would be less shy around you.

A simple smile can go a long way. However, it can be difficult to smile if you are not happy with the appearance of your teeth. We naturally associate people in pictures with straight,white smiles as confident and healthy, and we want to feel the same. Hiding your face because you’re embarrassed to show it off is not only damaging to your self-confidence but it can also prevent you from establishing and maintaining relationships and bring out the best in others.

2. Speak slowly

Have you ever conversed with a person who was speaking quickly and you kept asking them to repeat sentences frequently? Its annoying right? You don’t understand what they mean and you lose interest in the conversation from the word go.

People who speak quickly tend to be perceived to lack self-confidence. Its because most of them do not believe that anyone would want to hear them out and so they rash their speech thinking that they are saving the other person’s time.

Self-confidence entails you to believe in what you have to say and that you are worth being given time to air your opinions. When you hold such high belief, you wouldn’t rush your speech. You will speak slowly and articulate your words.

Look at the best keynote speakers in the world. They all speak slowly and articulate their opinions which in turn oozes confidence. I admire how Oprah Winfrey and Priyanka Chopra speak. They demonstrate that you can speak slowly and calmly and ooze confidence at the same time.

I bet that’s enough examples to get you working on your speech speed.

The best thing about this technique is that you can apply it anywhere. You don’t have to be giving a keynote speech at Havard to practice speaking slowly. A simple gesture like speaking to your friend over the phone or communicating with your family members is a great way to practice speaking slowly.

It may seem difficult to do at first but with enough practice you will eventually get there.You can dedicate ten minutes of your time everyday to practice. All you have to do is take your favorite book and read it out loud in front of your mirror. Take note of your speed and ensure that you are not speaking too slowly or too quickly. With constant practice you will find yourself speaking slowly without realizing. Remember that it takes 66 days to develop a habit.

3. Stand tall and sit up straight

As much as we don’t like to hear this, people judge us based on our appearance. How you dress matters but we tend to forget that our body language affects our appearance too. You can wear the most beautiful clothes but if you don’t match up your body language, chances are you will appear trying too hard to fit in.

By standing straight, arching your shoulders and holding your head high, people tend to have a positive impression of you . Your stance makes an effective statement so match it up with the best body language.Apart from people having a good impression of you, good posture can have a tremendous impact on how you feel about yourself.Part of it is synergy—as people see you as more confident, they treat you with more respect, which increases your self-confidence.

Good posture can help you feel more confident in yourself so people know you mean business! Of course you want to make sure your thoughts are positive before you try this. But when you do, good posture can add more conviction to how you state your beliefs. So if you’re addressing an important problem, asking for good customer service, going for a job interview, etc., your posture can have a positive affect on how you come across. When people know you truly believe what you’re saying they’re more likely to take you seriously.

Sitting up straight or walking into a room with your shoulders back and head held high can be like a spark that starts a fire. It makes a big difference in how you see yourself. Confidence helps you speak in ways that people take heed of more and enables you to take more risks.

Set a tone for the immediate perception people get of you. Since good posture can make you look and feel more powerful, practice walking with your shoulders pulled back and head lifted. It may seem difficult at first but as time goes by you get used to it.The best way to achieve this posture is to imagine that you have balloons filled with helium holding your head from above. Imagine how it would feel in reality. When you maintain this posture and make it a habit, you will find yourself having the posture throughout the day.

Related post: How to love yourself no matter what.

4. Increase competence

The moment you feel like you are not good enough to perform a task or assigned duty, you end up having low self-confidence. That’s because you know that you are not prepared for the task beforehand.The most logic way to approach this situation is to increase your competence. If you know that you are not good at public speaking yet you have a speech you are supposed to make, chances are you are not going to make the speech as well as expected if you don’t do anything about it.

Increasing your competence is a sign of self-love. It not only makes you knowledgeable but also helps you feel better as a person. When you are confident, everything else around you increases. Your sales increase, network expands and you make more friends. Without confidence we revert to fear, and when we are fearful, we do not take action. Increasing your competence will help you feel more confident with your actions.

The more competent and confident you are, the more you produce results for your work.There are three ways you can increase your competence in any field:

• Reading books,articles and blogs.
• Listening to podcasts and audios.
• Attending seminars and live sessions.

When there is a will there is a way. Trying to learn something new or increasing your knowledge on any area of your life is not as easy as you think. Some days you will feel like giving up while other days you will be on top of the moon with excitement for what you have learnt so far.

You need to practice patience in all things. always remember that good things take time.

5. Groom yourself,dress nicely and care for yourself

When you look good, you feel good about yourself. I don’t mean that you should take your life savings and go shopping in the name of looking good. You can still look good in your old clothes and feel great.I also have to acknowledge that not everyone considers dressing as a way of feeling confident.They may practice other ways to gain confidence. But dressing is such a underestimated way to feel good about yourself.  When I speak about dressing, I mean your own unique style. What feels good for you might not be the same for someone else.

It can be as simple as wearing a shirt with jeans or a cardigan with a skirt. The options are limitless. I know that you are probably wondering how dressing well affects your confidence.Do you remember a time whereby you weren’t dressed well and you were out in public? How did it feel? I remember wearing a dress that wasn’t pressed in public and I was not comfortable walking around. That experience made me suspicious that the by passers had noticed my dress.

Well, you can easily solve this embarrassment by grooming well. The best part is its a form of loving yourself. You will be killing two birds with one stone. You can do this by:

• Getting your hair done regularly or getting a haircut.
• Losing weight if you need to.
• Buying new clothes in your actual size.
• Get fit with regular exercise.
• Getting enough sleep.
• Rethinking your style if you feel like there is something that could suit you.
• Drinking more water to hydrate your skin.
• Investing in a good pair of shoes that look stylish and easy on your feet.
• Making sure that your clothes are always clean.
• Trying to eat as healthy as you can.

Always remember that self-confidence is the best outfit. as much as you wear the best clothes in the world, You equally need to match it with self-confidence. This is something that You always need to remind yourself daily.

6. Think positive and act positive to be confident

When you are constantly feeding your mind with positive affirmations,information,conversations,books,people,programs and activities you develop a more positive attitude and personality. You become more persuasive and influential which in turn makes you a confident person.

Your mind needs to be fed from time to time. What you feed it involves the books you read, the people you surround yourself with, the music you listen to and what you watch.

When you are speaking to yourself, speak positively and control your inner dialogue. Make sure that you tell yourself positive things instead of criticizing yourself. An improvement in your life begins with an improvement in your mental picture. Create a clear ,exciting picture of your goal and your ideal life and replay this picture in your mind over and over again.

Your choice of people with whom you live, work and associate with will have a tremendous impact on your mental well being. Decide today to associate with winners,positive people and those who are happy with their lives and know where they are going.

I hope that you found these tips on how to build your self-confidence helpful and you will be putting them to practice as soon as possible. Remember that you matter and you are important. 

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